Friday, October 14, 2016

IT'S NOT ALL RIGHT!


Her first experience with sexual molestation 
came at the age of 4.

It happened again at the age of 6.

Her mother yelled at her for allowing the boy to 'tickle' her.
In other words, it was her fault.

When she was fifteen, a police officer picked her up in a bear hug and kissed her fully on the lips.

She told no one, who would believe her?

At seventeen, a stranger stalked her while she walked to the bus stop.

She told her mother.

Her mother said she'd asked for it.



She tried to hide from her abuser behind a locked door.

He took the door off its hinges and dragged her by her feet to his bed.


Her boss raped her.

She told no one but left her job.

It changed her life profoundly.

Fear of men became the norm.


Yes, 

I am all these women.


Men have been taking advantage of women since the dawn of time.

For years it's been a given that if you're a woman, men will accost you.

But what hurts the most is that when you do share your experience or fear.

Others will dismiss the occurrence or place the blame for it on you.

Soon, we've accepted that blame, and when the unspeakable happens, we suppress it, learn to live with it, and the rapist goes free.

The only way this will change is if we keep talking about our experiences.

We can't let these men off the hook, even while judges are reluctant to punish them fully.

Even when the first response is, why did you wait so long?

What were you wearing?

Why were you drunk?

Or the worst expression of all.

Boys will be boys!

Please don't elect this misogynist.

This view of women, his view, and the views being expressed by his supporters will become the norm.

Then we all pay the price!


6 comments:

  1. WOW.... This is powerful. I hope it opens people's eyes....

    HUGS honey.. not all men are beasts!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Michael.
      I didn't cry while writing this, but I did when I read your words. Your support means the world!

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  2. You are fearless, Yolanda! Powerfully articulated. The entire world seems full of misogyny right now...hope sanity prevails.

    Love and hugs,
    Nila.

    Btw Loved Michael's comment too!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Nila!
      Misogyny isn't anything new, far from it, but now it's a topic all folks are talking about, and it's taking away the shame, it's giving voice to the silent. We can't suppress that, we need for this discussion to continue! With each woman who speaks up - the stronger I feel, and the more determined I am to change things for all women!
      Appreciate the love, the support, and especially the hugs!

      Delete
  3. A very powerful and heart wrenching piece. It resonated with me for reasons Im too ashamed to go into. Sadly, people believe that if a woman supports Trump then she is condoning sexual assault and that's not true. It's not true for me or any of the women I know. It is a horrible thing for a victim to be blamed or not believed, I know this personally and if my attacker had not confessed then everyone would have labeled me a liar. Having prosecuted cases for nearly 20 years I can also state that there are women who make false accusations. A false allegation destroys a life. I'm just having a hard time with all of this because these women have the same lawyer who represented women who made false allegations against McCain. We don't have time to get to the bottom of their allegations before the election. What Trump has said is reprehensible and if he has done these things then he should be punished, but I also know Politics and I know the Clinton's don't run a fair campaign which is evidenced by the thousands of leaked emails from wiki leaks. It's mud slinging on both sides and I wish we could address the real issues. I feel for every woman or female who's ever been assaulted and more so for those who have not been believed. No, it's not okay. It is never okay and it is NEVER the females fault. However, a person accused is innocent unless proven otherwise. Why is the world not focusing on any of the horrific things Clinton and her advisors and her campaign members have done? If Trump is a sexual predator I hope he gets what he deserves. I'm just tired of Hillary Clinton living by a different set of rules than the rest of the world. I'm so sick of the entire 2016 election I've quit watching. I'm repulsed by both sides and sick to my stomach about the state our country is in because of these two (YES BOTH OF THEM) candidates and their need to win at any cost.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Melissa, for your kind words. I am truly sorry that you too have experienced the unthinkable!

      But Trump convicted himself! In his own words, he assaults women. The remarks on the bus, the Howard Stern interviews, etc.! Regardless of whether these women came forward or not - his words did enough damage. We can't stand for misogyny to become any more 'standard' than what it already is. I appreciate your comment. I understand the decision that faces all of us. However, this man eliminated himself, and I'm truly sorry for all those folks who believed or wanted to believe in this candidate!

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